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(no subject) [Jul. 21st, 2009|03:32 pm]
dear lj,

i am sorry i neglect you and have moved onto tumblr and other such vessels to track my failed coherence. sometimes it is just too painful to recall things through you. the past six weeks have left me in a permanent state of dissolution. i miss her too much to talk. i don't want to be touched. i don't understand. i have no words. no feelings. no emotions. my black hole makes it hard enough to form words to convince the people closest to me i'm doing okay. posting pictures seems to be the only way i can express myself. one day i will get out of this semi-permanent writers block and return to you. i'll miss you. and if not, i'll leave a note before i go to fiji.
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unfaithful [Jul. 19th, 2008|11:44 pm]
"on the days that we do not meet i am calm and hate myself.

when i awake you are my first thought,
do you realize what i am saying?

you are in my brain before i open my eyes."
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i know you love him, i know you do. [Feb. 11th, 2008|06:43 pm]
[mood |devastated..]

"Finally, she grew quiet,
and after that, coherent thought.
With this, stalked
through her a cold,
bloody rage. Hours of this.
A period of introspection,
a space of retrospection,
then a mixture of both.
Out of this an awful calm. "

and what did i find? caught. caught. caught. you're caught. and it's all over.

always in winter. [Jan. 22nd, 2007|04:09 pm]
[music |metric - love is a place]

(i am so alone.)

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

friends only.
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(no subject) [Aug. 12th, 2005|05:12 am]
lowered down like a casket
and buried just below her chest.
"whatever i was searching for,
it was never you," she says.
the record ended long ago,
we go on dancing nonetheless.

(jesus have mercy on us.)
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